Lost For Words
by PurpleFoxHat
Summary: After Sebastian graduates with the Warblers, he breaks the news to them that's been bothering him for a while. Leaving behind his friends, possible career, family, and love interest, he faces the world by himself. - Sebastian/Some Seblaine/Klaine Present/Some Huntbastian/Some OC, canon until episode 14 of season 3


**Author's Note:**

**Blaine won't be as present for a few chapters, so sorry for any disappointment! I wrote this a while back, and for popular demand, I re-wrote it and decided to publish it.**

**Also, in this, Blaine is the same year as Sebastian and the warblers (except Wes who is one year ahead), and Hunter is a Junior.**

**I don't own Glee, or anything in it**

**And I don't own "Never Go Back" by Evanescence.**

**Please Read and Review Honestly! :)**

**Enjoy**

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Chapter 1: Never Go Back

"_**...I can still see your face**_

_**Where it's burned into my mind**_

_**I die every time**_

_**I close my eyes, you're always there..."**_

I sulked, sighing sadly in the line of graduation caps. I stepped forward heavily and robotic, getting closer to the reason I was here. Well, one of them.

One of the reasons I came to this graduation ceremony was because they gave me my diploma, which I deserved. It's something that would open up a bunch of jobs that pay the bills and fill my wallet. After that, I could permanently keep that stupid uniform out of my sight. It sickened me to the very moment to wear the same colors every day, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 9.5 months a school year. Even a glance at my Warblers patch turned my skin green.

But it reminded me of another reason I was there. I had to be there for the Warblers, my friends. I was their leader, and they looked up to me. It would've given a mixed message if I didn't go. I had a special connection with each and every one of them. Jeff, Thad, Nick, all of them.

But there was always one Warbler I never got as close to as I wanted. Blaine. Well, he wasn't a Warbler anymore, but he was one before I came here. Even so, he transferred schools to be with his _precious Kurt Hummel_ before I got the chance to even introduce myself. Blaine was another reason I was here. I was here to impress him. He had told me through a text that he was coming to see the Warblers graduate. I was glad, too, because I wanted to see him one last time in a non-awkward situation to say goodbye.

Before I knew it, they called my name. "Sebastian Smythe." I scanned my eyes through the people seated in the house for a moment. I wasn't completely sure why there were so many people. But I knew one thing for sure; my parents weren't out there. They would rather attend anything else but a moment that would prove my dad's scolding words wrong.

I double checked the crowd for a few seconds more, until my gaze caught the beautiful golden brown eyes of Blaine Anderson. My blood flushed through my veins and my nerves tingled, giving my body a warm and pleasant feeling. I smirked at him, sending him a nod. I turned my gaze back towards the headmaster, and I strode towards him. I gladly took the rolled up scroll of parchment and shook his big strong hand. I smiled at him, nodding, not quite hearing what he said to me. Whatever it was, it was a warning. His eyes were full of concern and doubt. It didn't surprise me, because he never liked me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he'd always despised me and my family. I shrugged at him and continued across the stage.

The screams, cheers, and applause were soon muted out of my mind until the ceremony was over. I glanced around, looking for Blaine. I spotted him for a split second, but my smirk was cut off by being tackled by five young men. I slowly opened my eyes, catching the blur of swishy blond hair. I immediately recognized Jeff. I couldn't make out the words they were screaming, but I knew that they were filled with joy by the smiles on their faces. I couldn't help but smile as well. But before I could begin to fully enjoy the moment, they were pulled off of me, and I was helped up by a strong hand pulling on my arm.

"Thanks." I mumbled, regaining my stance. I glanced up to find out who had helped me up. I then found myself gazing at the angelically perfect face of Blaine Anderson.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, laughing, yet concerned at the same time. He began to dust off my back and shoulders, which I was guessing had dirt on them.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." _Now that you're here._ I silently added on. I smirked at him, trying not to wave my eyebrows at him. That always bothered him. Not knowing what to do next, I pulled him into a big hug. I sighed, taking it in. "It's nice to see you one last time Blaine." I let the words slip out accidentally, louder than I meant it.

Pulling back, Blaine tilted his head in confusion, and raised his triangle eyebrows. I felt the eyes of the Warblers turn to stare at me. I glanced at each of them, cursing under my breath.

"One last time?" Jeff asked, his voice trembling in emotion. He nudged Nick, and then snorted. They began to howl and hoot, as if someone told a hilarious joke. "We'll see him all of the time! He'll come visit us! Right, Blaine?" Jeff cackled, Blaine nodding.  
"Yeah, I'll be supporting you guys as your number one fan, and I'd gladly do a guest appearance if you want me too." Blaine added, playfully punching Thad's arm.

_Damn_. I'd forgotten that the Warblers were going to continue the group and try and get a record deal, and when they thought "The Warblers," they expected _me_ to be leading them. I'd forgotten that I hadn't told them the news that was boiling inside me. I sighed, not wanting to break their hearts, especially Blaine's. But I knew that he'd be fine with his _precious Kurt._

"Guys, I have something to tell you all." I began, my fingertips twitching. "I'm not going with you. I'm going away."

The Warblers faces paled to a dim shade. Their smiles vanished, and their eyes filled with sorrow.

"But- But- You _promised_ that you'd come with us!" Jeff broke out, shedding a tear.

"I never promised, Jeff. When you guys brought up the idea I merely said that it was a good idea, not that I'd be joining you." I stated mechanically, my face expressionless.

"But...but... but Sebastian!" Jeff wimped. Thad placed a hand on Jeff's shoulder, becoming upset as well.

Blaine stared down at the ground. "We'll miss you, Sebastian." He mumbled. He turned away slightly, hiding a small tear that could have been for me. Blaine quickly wiped it away and helped Thad comfort Jeff.

I stared at all of them as they broke down in front of me. I never realized how much I really meant to them. My gaze dropped to the ground, refusing to let tears blur my vision.

"I'm never coming back, guys. Unless you find me out there in the world out there, this is goodbye. _Forever._" I rubbed my eye quickly as I spoke with a monotone voice. "Goodbye." I stated, as I walked to my car coldly, trying to breathe properly. But I couldn't. I swiftly sat down in my Volkswagen Jetta and started the car. I speeded away, replaying the scene in my head.

I zoomed down the road, not sure of where I was going. I then pulled over into a dark alley-way. I turned off my car, and sat in the chilling darkness. I felt my lip trembling, so I looked around for anyone near. There was no one in sight, there was no point in holding it all in. But I insisted in pushing it down. A split second before I could change my mind, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, rubbing my eyes. The screen lit up, the words flashing. _New Message from Blaine Anderson._ I immediately opened the message:

_**sebby? r u alright? were r u? i need 2 talk 2 u please dont leave yet**_

I sighed heavily, re-reading the text message for a while. "Sweet, innocent, adorable Blaine," I muttered out loud, shaking my head. "It's not that simple." I then clicked the "delete" button, erasing the message that stabbed at my heart like a knife.

The message was gone from my phone memory, but not from mine. I glanced back at the leather seats behind me. Sitting on top of a big trunk of things were two suitcases and a shopping bag. They were filled to the brim and ready to burst open. They'd been like that for about nine hours. I glared in thought, and turned the car ignition.

I pulled out of the alley and continued down the road until I reached the house of Hunter Clarington, who was waiting for me on the porch. I unlocked the doors, and gestured for him get in.

"What took you so long?" Hunter asked in his naturally annoyed tone, sitting down in the car and slamming the door. Pulling out of the driveway, I ignored the question. Instead I just gave him my usual smirk, to which he replied with roll of his eyes and a sigh.

After driving for a long while, I pulled up to the airport. I pulled my things out of my car and tossed the keys over to Hunter. Catching them, Hunter smirked. I shook my head at him.

"All yours, just like I said." I muttered to him, moving swiftly past him with my things.

"Sebastian." His voice was different this time. Almost... pleadingly. I turned to him, raising an eyebrow at the sad expression on his face.

"What is it?" I replied almost uncaring. I set down my heavy luggage, my arms getting tired. When I straightened back up, I found myself in Hunter's tight embrace. Shocked, I stood there, not moving. I felt him moving... twitching... or even... shaking. It then hit me that he was crying into my chest. He mumbled a few words into me that were impossible to understand. Unsure of what to do, I went for the nicer of reactions, and rubbed his back softly.

I'd never had seen him like this. Ever. He was always so strong, dominant... I thought I'd taught him how to be intimidating by not letting out his emotions... I'd never known him to be so... so... gushy.

After a good five minutes of him blubbering like an idiot (a surprisingly adorable idiot), he let me go, allowing me to breath fully again. I opened my mouth to ask him what that was all about, but I was cut off by his trembling lips pressed up against mine. Again, shocked, I was unable to move an inch, or even realize that that wasn't too bad of a kiss.

He pulled back after a good amount. He rubbed his eyes, and gave me a nod. "Good luck out there." And he was gone.

I stood there for a while; my eyes wide in shock, confusion... even horror. I blinked, coming back to reality. I shook it off, and turned towards the entrance. It was in the past.

After I made it past security, I pondered my thoughts at the gate. My flight was another hour or two away, so I had time to kill. I glanced down at the ticket in my hand. The print on it said _**Sea-Tac Airport, WA. **_And there was no returning ticket. Because like I said before, I wasn't coming back.


End file.
